家長護家小「貼士」(Tips for Effective Parenting)

跟據美國密徹根洲(Michigan)的教育部 (Dept. of Education)的一些研究資料，得出以下結論：

1. 父母越早參與兒女們的教育學習過程，則對兒女的幫助越為顯著﹝The earlier in a child’s educational process parent involvement begins, the more powerful the effects.)
2. 父母最有效的參與是在家裏直接跟兒女一起學習的活動 (The most effective forms of parent involvement are those, which engage parents in working directly with their children on learning activities at home.)

以上的結論對為人父母的是一個既簡單又重要的提示，因為今天香港社會的風氣正在急劇變化中，如何能有效地把正面和重要的價值觀傳遞給我們的兒女，是一個迫切和不可忽視的課題，密徹根教育部的研究正好給予我們一個簡單和重要的答案：就是為人父母的要及早和爭取更多的參與兒女們的學習和成長過程，我們才有把握有效地把正面和重要的價值觀傳遞給下一代。

若有興趣參閱相關報告，請直接剔入以下網址：Final Parent Involvement Fact Sheet

護家協會

3則令家長不安的新聞

今天﹝7月19日)明報有以下3則新聞：

1. Coco網誌熱爆
2. 機電署文員藏少年性器照
3. 名畫露點遭勸喻 影視處再鬧笑話

它們之所以令家長不安，因為從第一則新聞中可見到笑貧不笑娼的影子，更甚的，一件熱爆的新聞，稍經炒作，很易變成時興的趨勢，而箇中的是非曲直，很易變得混淆不清！而今天的青少年因為種種原因，一般實在難以有足夠能力去辯別是非，更難抵擋如洪水的潮流，最終造成更多家庭隱憂，以至是將來的悲劇！

第3則新聞中看到現今的傳媒﹝例如自稱是不偏不倚的明報﹞對社會的性解放尺度，不斷向一些西方潮流跟風，說甚麼是國際名畫，就一定不是淫褻物品！真的嗎？他們可能不曉得很多所謂名畫大師的個人生活，如DH Lawrence 等，常是很多悶鬱和一團糟的。這亦可能是第二則新聞中的文員的某種寫照 ─ 如果他是一位名畫家，他可能就能理直氣壯的抗辯：「你們這群壽頭，不知老子我是個高級藝術家嗎？」

無獨有偶，明報同日報導了校長創明光社正道德風中的樓曾瑞校長，他的慨嘆指年輕人的道德水平每况愈下，10年來明光社雖然高舉道德旗幟，仍不敵傳媒的渲染，父母忽略對子女的管教，令他們更胡作非為。實在應被社會人士 ─ 特別是作為家長的深思！

護家協會

美國怪聞：Pit bull 犬雞姦2歲小主人！

外電 Tonawanda News 報導了一宗星期日(7月8日) 發生 在 紐 約 州 洛 克 波 特 巿 ( Lockport) 的惡犬雞 姦 男 童 案！負責案件的警 長 埃格特 (Larry Eggert) 講 述 案 件，事 發 時 男童和母親是身處屋內分開的地方，突然間，客 廳 傳 來 男 童 尖 叫 聲 ， 母 親 跑 到 客 廳 一 看 ， 驚 見 家 中 飼 養 的 Pit bull "Bear" 正 在 雞姦 兒 子 。鄰 居 聽 到 男 童 母親驚叫聲 ， 跑 來 幫 忙 ， 只 見 Bear 咬著男 童 的 腿 和 腹 部 ， 眾 人 合 力 將 狗 扯 開 ， 把 男 童 送 院 。 警 方 已 從 狗 和 男 童 身 上 採樣作 DNA 化 驗 ， 以 及 徵 詢 狗 隻 行 為 專 家 的 意 見 (參考 WBKT-TV)。 該惡犬已暫時交由美國 Niagara County SPCA 看管。

報導：護家協會

Let's Talk to Our Kids

"http://www.4parents.gov/" is part of the US national public education campaign to provide parents with the information, tools and skills they need to help their teens make healthy choices. They have recently launched the Talking to Your Pre-Teen or Teen About Waiting campaign on their website. The following statistics are provided:

• Do you know that 53% of high school students have not had sexual intercourse?1
• Do you know that, according to one survey, two-thirds of teens who have had sexual intercourse wish they had waited?2
• Do you know that when parents tell their teenager they want them to wait, their son or daughter is more likely to wait?3

Waiting until marriage to have sex is a very healthy decision for teens. You can help your pre-teen or teen decide to wait. You don’t have to know everything about teens and sex. What you really need to know is how to talk to your child, pre-teen or teen about what you believe. You should talk early and often. It's never too early to start the conversation. And it's never too late.

Simultaneously, The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) unveils on June 21st 'Parents Speak Up' National Campaign. It was developed based on research that indicates youth look to their parents for guidance when it come to making decisions about sex. When families encourage open communication, and teens live in an environment where values are clearly expressed, they are more likely to follow those values.

As parents, we really have to take heed of our kids up-bringing and their psycho-somatic needs as they are growing up. If we fail to keep them properly informed and guided, other activists in and around our society would pursue their "lobbying" and take over our "parental roles" instead. So, let's be prepared and be concerned about our kids' well-being against the backdrop of the de-moralization trends in our society.

Howard

Reflection of Parents' Roles

According to the New York Times, each night in the United States, more than 50 million children eat dinner without their fathers. Given this grim statistic, it seems appropriate to wonder what difference a father makes anyway. Does dining with Dad matter, or is a father at the dinner table like a kidney or a lung — nice to have but not essential for living?

We might start by looking at the scientific studies that measure a child’s well-being by his parents’ presence at the dinner table. The most famous — the one cited repeatedly by newspaper columnists and talk-show hosts in the States— is a report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University that concludes that “the more often teens have dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs.”

Other studies, for example the 2000 CASA NATIONAL SURVEY OF AMERICAN ATTITUDES ON SUBSTANCE ABUSE VI: TEENS mentions that CASA correlated each teen's risk of substance abuse with a series of 12 possible actions the teen attributed to his or her parents. They then categorized parents in three categories-"hands-on," "half-hearted" or "hands-off." Teens living in "hands-on" households have parents who consistently take ten or more of these 12 actions: monitor what their teens watch on TV; monitor what they do on the Internet; put restrictions on the music CD's they buy, etc...; and have an adult present when the teen returns from school. The survey found:

• Only one in four teens (27 percent) lives with "hands-on" parents.
• Teens with "hands-on" parents are at one-fourth the risk of teens living with "hands-off" parents.
• Nearly one in five teens (18 percent) lives with "hands-off" parents-parents who fail to consistently set down rules and expectations-and are at four times the risk of substance abuse of teens with "hands-on" parents.

Furthermore, despite the conventional wisdom that many teens don't want their parents to establish rules and expectations, the survey found that teens with "hands-on" parents are much more likely to have an excellent relationship with their parents than teens with "hands-off" parents. So, parents, it is time for us to closely look at what we are doing with our children especailly in terms of both their and our own expectations for their betterment as well as the betterment of our families.

Howard